charisasmith.com

Sunday, June 19, 2011

"EMOTIONAL MALNUTRITION" - ORIGINAL POSTING DATE: WED., MARCH 31ST, 2010 - "EMOTIONAL MALNUTRITION"

"Ignorance creates greed by breeding the idea that we are fundamentally lacking something..." - Roshi Bernie Tetsugen Glassman. How many times have we gone overboard, all because we needed "that something"? Felt utterly alone in the midst of friends? Indulged to fill that void? Will the craving to feel, know, gain, and achieve ever cease?

Emotional malnutrition--as I have decided to coin it--is actually optional. At the NYC Buddhist Forum on March 20th, senior Shambala Center teacher Joseph Mauricio also pointed out this cycle of desire, binging, and dissatisfaction with whatever we currently have. Earlier, I complained to my friend and advisor, Corey Roberts, about receiving unwanted sexual advances in professional settings. I know that I come across as friendly and enthusiastic, but I just can't believe the fact that so many people assume that my demeanor means it's okay for them to put the moves on me. Corey likened most people to roaming nomads in the desert. He said that the world is unfortunately so bereft of kindness that when these thirsty, weary nomads see true kindness staring them in the face, they can not believe it could be the real, pure thing. Convinced that sincere friendliness must be a mirage, too many acquaintances think that I must be offering sexual energy instead. This saddens me unfathomably, and I realize that I need to be more vocal about my platonic intentions as soon as I suspect someone may have the wrong idea, if I want to avoid feeling intruded upon and in need of a constant shower. I will have to get over the disappointment that I must continually "set people straight" if I choose to maintain my personality. I can only hope that in time, sincerity will become as viral as lust and anxiety.

I am so glad that Zen accepts that perfection is the here and now. Can we try to believe that the current ingredients of our lives are precisely what we need to create each daily feast? Striving, craving, searching, and desires are "inexhaustible" (The Four Vows). We do not need to gorge on anything in this world-- be it material or intangible. It is possible to free ourselves from that feeling of persistent lack. Seize the day. Be grateful. See a need, an opportunity, and act. Make the most of each present moment.

It truly is always right now.

No comments:

Post a Comment